let go of the fear…

I heard a quote not too long ago – even seen it on facebook and it goes like this, “let go…let god”…well that’s what I finally did. You see I have a really bad fear when it comes to illness. It scares the crap out of me!! And the reason being is my health scare about 4 years ago when I had a problem with my skin. I can out of that with two scars and a different attitude. It took awhile to really understand what the “life lessons” were but in the end, I got them! Along with growing as a different person, a person whos scared shitless when it comes to anything in regards to my health and hating the visit to the doctors, it also brought people into my life that helped me learn and grow. One of which I met just that week, the same week I got the phone call from the doctor. This lady who I now call a friend helped me more than I think she even knows! She was my angel…here on earth. AND her name is….ready for this..Angel. Yea that’s right! Angel has been in my life for the last 4 years and I am grateful to know her. I know it’s silly but anytime I get that fear, anytime I gotta go see my doctor, I go see her too! And she calms me! Bullshit to what shes saying or not…I don’t care because I know she’s helped me. So my appointment for something else that has come up is Monday and I felt fine yesterday – til today. The fear is settling in and I need to let it go!!!!! That’s what I got to learn right here right now!!! I will NOT fear what’s not here!! I will not let the bad thoughts in but instead keep my head high and know everything is fine……with that said…..SCREW YOU FEAR!!!! leave me alone…you are simply NOT welcome here!! that felt good…and it’s something I will continue to do! I refuse to let fear take control because I’ve let it take control long enough – it’s time I take the wheel back and run over the fear….it’s time, to let go and let god….I know I have my loved ones on my side up there working hard to answer my prayers…and tha’t all I need to know ❤

mb